Net.Legends.FAQ (Noticeable Phenomena Of UseNet) 
Part 4/4

Archive-name: net-legends-faq/part4
Posting-Frequency: Every 73 days
Last-modified: 9/13/94

Contrib. post:
 The defender of the oppressed, McElroy has taken it upon himself to be
the press agent of various freedom fighters around the world, but
especially the Irish Republican Army. He spends his time uploading press
releases to soc.culture.celtic, often starting threads which use up to 50%
of the group's bandwidth. His posts may appear to be flame bait, but he
almost never enters into a discussion on the contents. He has accused some
British sites of censorship when he heard rumours that his posts were not
being distributed there (the rumours appear to be false).
Posts from

Jym Dyer (=o=):
 Notable mostly for his unique posting style and paragraph-starting markers,
which are usually =o= but sometimes go =/= =\=; has been known to use
ASCII illuminated letters in their place. Signs himself <_Jym_>.
Posts as (Jym Dyer).

Peter Plantec (Am I *really* a troll?):
 Short answer: yes. Probably saw Ted Frank's entry and decided a.f.u needed
a resident loon... Claimed to be dyslexic to cover his spelling errors; posted
wild claims to alt.folklore.urban and other places. Needed a bit of work on
his trolling technique, but had name-dropping down pat. Has not been seen on
afu in some time. Posted as (P. Plantec).

Clayton E. Cramer (Homosexual men often have that many in a week):
Contrib. post:
 Clayton seems to have made it his personal crusade to move into
relatively sane groups and turn them into stinking hells of political
flame by starting an anti-homosexual flame war.
Try ca.politics, ba.politics or *.politics.* groups. A sample:
#Newsgroups: ba.politics,ca.politics
#From: (Clayton Cramer)
#Subject: Re: Which comes first?
#Distribution: ba
#George Lambert <> wrote:
#> (Clayton Cramer) writes:
###Because "monogamy" for many gay men means they come home to the
###same guy after a long night of anonymous sex at the bars.  I have
###a few postings from soc.motss that refer to being married, yet
###then talk about disappointing sexual experiences out at the bars.
##Just like heaps of straight men and women, Clayton.  Wanna take on the
##straight crowd now?
#As usual, you are wrong.  The average lifetime number of sexual
#partners for Americans is around seven.  Homosexual men often have
#that many in a week.
Has recently been sighted on soc.history...
Posts as cramer@optilink.{UUCP|} (Clayton Cramer).

Philip H. Stromer:
Contrib. post:
 He was another hate-filled bigot who posted rants about homosexuality.
He became obsessed with the idea that anal sex would wear out the
muscles of the digestive tract, causing incontinence; he also posted
long gloating messages about "AIDS-infested faggots".
 Eventually, Sun Microsystems fired him for breach of contract, for
posting messages which were intimidating and harassing to other
employees.  He sued them, and lost.  Appeared again from some
commercial site or other, but soon sunk out of view.
 A salutory lesson to those who believe that the Internet is a license
to spew bigotry.
 Oh yeah. I've read this clown's rantings from time to time, and the one
thing that occurs to me is that he and little Danny Karnes may be the same
person. This isn't a _claim_ that they are, mind you, but you'd hardly
know any better from their posts.
 (from the Business section of the San Jose Mercury News,
Friday, July 31, 1992)
"Email epithets spark Sun lawsuit" by Brandon Bailey
 By his own admission, Philip Stromer liked to push the
boundaries of good taste when he sent out jokes and
political statements on his employer's electronic mail network.
 But according to a lawsuit filed this week in Santa
Clara County Superior Court, Stromer pushed too far.
 The 32-year-old technical writer says he was fired by
Sun Microsystems in April after he sent a series of
email messages that were anything but politically correct.
 The messages were posted on an electronic bulletin
board used by Sun workers to exchange jokes and
running commentary on a variety of topcis unrelated to their jobs.
 "I was just trying to make conversation," Stromer
said in an interview.  "I would normally take whatever position was unpopular."
 His electronic broadsides ranged from pro-Israel
and anti-abortion arguments to jokes about AIDS
and graphic epithets about gays.  Eventually he
signed on to a nationwide computer network using
his terminal at Sun and typed what he described
as "some very extremely nasty stuff" on a bulletin
board used primarily to exchange sarcastic insults and vitriolic humor.
 A Sun spokeswoman said the company would not comment.
 The case raises interesting questions about the
increasing popularity of electronic bulletin
boards and message systems on which users can
type all kinds of outrageous statements without
having to look their audience in the eye.  Stromer
says he always signed his own name to his messages
and never meant to threaten anyone personally.
But several legal experts say that anti-discrimination
laws require management to step in when employees
create an atmosphere that is hostile or intimidating to any group.
 "An occasional joke, maybe," said Patricia Shiu, staff
attorney at the non-profit Employment Law Center in
San Francisco.  "But if an employer (allows) that kind
of thing repeatedly, he exposes himself to liability
for allowing a discriminatory environment."
 In his lawsuit, Stromer claims his bosses violated his
right to free expression.  He said he was just trying
to liven up the conversations that Sun employees routinely
conduct on a variety of email bulletin boards.  And he
compared himself with comedian Lenny Bruce.  (Stromer
said he had been scolded before but he drew his first
written reprimand from Sun for a joke about AIDS and
Magic Johnson, and another about AIDS and anal sex.)
"This type of exchange... is deemed by Sun management
to show poor judgment and blatant disregard for the
feelings of coworkers," said the reprimand.
 By Stromer's account, he was fired after he used his
work computer to hurl messages including graphic epithets
at gays across a national network.  The network automatically
identified the messages as coming from a Sun computer.
 Stromer is acting as his own attorney.  He said he sought
help from the American Civil Liberties Union and a
conservative foundation but both told him his employer
had a right to regulate his speech on company computers.
= = =
[Typed in by sf at dec and reposted w/o his permission, which is why
I'm leaving his name off / JBL]
 Aha. So _that's_ the reason he ceased to infest alt.flame! I just thought that
his net access had been stripped, like a kook of a different stripe (I'm
referring to the dreaded David J. Rasmussen, of course), but I probably
just ran into his post-Sun output instead.
One does wonder how working for a company justifies the posting of such
crapola via a system the company owns. Ah well...

Douglas Bell (SPACE BANG! [ !]):
 Posts promos for his Wonderful SF Series to rec.arts.sf.written and several
other places. Has no sense of plot, editing, storyline, or what will attract
readers. Has no clue, and resists all attempts to force one on him. Doesn't
listen to criticism - the sure sign of a never-to-be-published-and-never-to-
know-why writer... Has shown signs recently of possessing a slight sense of
humor though.
Contrib. post:
I'd like to apologize in advance...
Douglas K. Bell <> wrote:
)Ever enjoyed an SF series so much you couldn't wait to get the next book?!
YES!  I can't wait for the next Xanth novel!!!!!!
)Hi, I'm Doug Bell !
Hi, I'm Scott Drellishak, SPACE BANG!
)I've written a series of 6 books about INFINITY CITY, an incredible world 
)in a black hole and the adventurers of its exciting people.  
Who would have believe that time dilation and death-by-tides could be SO MUCH
FUN?  Being crushed down to an infinitely dense point is the hoot of a lifetime!
)I'm amazed at how much you all are enjoying the stories!  
So am I. It's amazing to realize how much I can enjoy a story I've
NEVER READ! We're *all* waiting in anticipation for you to tell us what
our next opinion should be!
)Thanks for all your email support and comments!
)In the first book - "VAN GOGH IN SPACE" - an adventurer brings 
)Vincent Van Gogh back from the ancient past to INFINITY CITY where he 
)meets the "kind" of woman that has always caused him trouble...
...and the WACKY FUN never stops!  (btw, I like the way you use
"quotes" around the word "kind" -- this subtly but clearly lets "us"
know that SOMETHING "WITTY" THIS WAY "COMES"! [nudge, nudge])
)If you want an email   > > > >  F R E E   C O P Y   < < < <  of BOOK #1, 
) just email me! 
(W H Y   A R E   W E   S H O U T I N G?)
)The rest of the series is free by email, too!
And worth every penny!
)You'll enjoy them all!
It's MANDATORY!  Just imagine what would happen to Doug's ego if you didn't!
)Writing this series over the years has been a sheer joy.
Here, have a tissue...
)(I'm already 
)well into book#7 - WASHINGTON & MOZART IN SPACE).
I can hardly wait for book#8 -- I suggest HITLER & EVA IN SPACE.  Or,
)Best of all, people 
)have as much fun reading the books as I do writing them!
It's true because Doug tells you it's true!  And uses exclamation
points to prove it!
)Doug Bell, Pleasanton, California USA
)Recent feedback:
(which has appeared in the last 3 months' posts)...
)"Book six was fantastic! Loss, gain, mystery, and now
)the start of a war! I think you have just reached "Epic" proportions with
)this series of novels. I am really enjoying them. 
) It has been great reading your stuff..."            - Joshua R. Nelson
I agree!  And when Josh and I get out of high school, we're going to
grow up to be JUST LIKE DOUG!
Oy. Posts as (Douglas K. Bell).

Lt. Wilkes (My brain will be back in December:)
 Perennial alt.slack/alt.religion.kibology poster. Maintains that his brain
and body are in two separate places, and that one of them recently visited
Pluto for reasons having to do with the Fungi from Yuggoth; not a loon,
but does a darn good imitation of one, and is extremely fun to watch. A
candidate for the new Kibo (don't ask...) [he lost, by the way]. Responsible
for the Don't Let Lieutenant Wilkes Breed Society of alt.slack and
alt.discordia, which has apparently failed in its purpose, due to the Lt.'s
new girl(?)friend jack [no it's not short for jackie]. Unfortunately, jack
seems to have disappeared back into the Vague Morass Of Short-lived Usenet
Posters. Used to post from (being one of its two saving virtues at
that time); now posts as (Lt. Wilkes).

Hoyt Stearns (Since space is quantized into units of 45.58nm,...):
 from sci.physics, proponent of "larsonian physics", which seems to think
space and time are quantized, and that the universe is 3D and Euclidean...
Posts to s.p &, with followups to sci.physics
or sci.astro (to reap the ensuing flamewar) [deponent got caught this way
once... grrrr]. Definitely a loon. Posts as hoyt@isus.UUCP (Hoyt A. Stearns

David de Hilster ("special relativity does not apply to decays"):
 Another classic crackpot (again, in the scientific sense). Posts to about Autodynamics, a theory which is supposed
to explain particle decays without invoking neutrinos; unfortunately, this
can't be done without violating momentum conservation, and David tries to
get around this by invoking a different kinetic energy equation and energy
imparted from an "external medium". Is also against the neutrino detection
from the supernova at Kamiokande. Autodynamics is apparently a creation of
a Dr. Carezani; David has at least one supporter at his site (Amnon Meyers).
Posts as David de Hilster <>.

Suzanne Forgach:
Contrib. posts:
 And, since there is a distinct lack of female kooks (even fewer than
one would expect from the low proportion of female posters) I think
Suzanne Fogarch (sp?) should be added. She's the only person I
remember seeing post something positive about Jesse Helms. Even the
right wing nutters that abound on the net find him an embarassment.
 A talk.abortion regular.  I've never seen Ms. Forgach, though I did
have an office down the hall from her at NOAO for a while.  A 'w' on
the computer she was logged into would always show 'vn talk.abortion'...
I suspect 'prolific' might be a more accurate tag than 'kook'.
 I remember Suzanne Forgach from way back in the dark days when I used
to post to talk.abortion. (I got better.) I don't know if she's
still kicking around, or if she was or is known on other groups.
I'm not sure if she really qualifies as a loon. Her postings
reflected highly conservative, religious beliefs, but being on the
right wing isn't an instant ticket to the insane asylum. She tended
to completely ignore logic when arguing (I vaguely recall that she
once tried to argue that homosexuality was wrong because other animals
didn't do it, and then when contradicted, turned around and accused
people of trying to justify homosexuality by saying that other animals
did it), but talk.abortion has never been a particularly rational
debating club.
 If you've ever seen any posts by Steve Chaney, Ralph Taite or David J.
Rassmussen on t.a., you'll know how obvious a statement this is. Ugh.
 Wait ... is she the one who tried to insist that her views
were backed by science, claiming support from a PhD in
astro, until someone actually checked her credentials?
 Back from the dim mists of time when I once frequented talk.abortion
along with an excess-O and a lamented late friend (using the same
monicker), I remember well Suzanne "A circle has two sides!" Forgach.
However, I doubt if she counts as a loon.  If anything, she is just
someone who have an interesting definition of "logic".  Good for a
chuckle from time to time, and I remember that the joke above was in
reference to an incident in which she said that a circle obviously has
two sides, since there is an inside and an outside!  She always draws
fire from the high-temperature flamers of talk.abortion, although not
all of them flame so well.  Amusing, sometimes ("When my cat coughs up
a hairball it makes a 'Forgach' sound." .... James Purdon), but mostly
out of proportion to what Suzanne deserves.  She even had a sense of
humour, I realised once with a shock ("To drieux: .......... with
great loathing, Sieuxanne Forgach").
 Forgach is still her usual cheerful self,
though I tend to agree with you she's not a loon -- she's just brimming with
plain hatred for a lot of people.  (You may remember her comment about women
who have pre-marital sex being lower than prostitutes, which comment I took
issue with.)
 Well, she's certainly not as crazy as our dear friend Michael Courtney, but
her views tend to be so fanatically pro-Catholic that she even has little
(if any) time for rational discourse with Protestants such as Steve Adams
when discussing one of her favorite bugaboos. I'm referring to differences
in theological outlook, of course.

Mark V. Shaney:
Contrib. post:
 Do you have MVS (Mark V. Shaney) in your list?  MVS dates back to about
1985, and was probably the first of the "automated posters" on Usenet.  It
would take postings from and generate new postings by combining
sentence fragments in almost-understandable ways, by using Markov Chain
techniques.  (Note the similarity between Mark V. Shaney and Markov Chain.)
It was written up in the Mathematical Games section of Scientific American a
few years ago.

Sean P. `Bandwidth' Ryan:
 has his own alt.flame.* group. Jumps into the middle of flamewars, generally
without checking the waters first...
Contrib. post (one guess as to whom it's from):
>alt.flame.sean-ryan: The first .flame group to be named after a
>net.personality (though not the first flame group).  Created by Eric
>Olson (though forged in my name) in response to an ongoing flame war
>which had been going on for the previous nine months in the local
>newsgroup ua.flame.  Specifically, I challenged Eric on the fact that
>he only pretended to be a news administrator but actually wasn't, when
>some people were insisting that I be given my own ua.* group but weren't
>able to do anything about it.
Posts as (Sean P. Ryan).

From rec.arts.comics.misc.
Contrib. post:
 Doesn't crosspost. Also doesn't post much, but when he _does_ post you
tend to see 50+ articles all at once, with subjects all in caps. Most of
the time, he follows up to long-since-dead threads. He's famous for
threatening to physically maim a well-respected RACM member, and commonly
follows up to articles from that member by posting insults. At this point
in time, he mostly gets ignored by the folks on RACM.

Richard Sexton:
Contrib. post:
 So how could you forget Richard Sexton, the guy who created sci.aquaria,
rec.aquaria and alt.aquaria?
 The Net is full of nasty group creation fights.  I was hoping this
wouldn't turn into one.  Bear with me, it has applicability to this
fracas, while I reminisce about one of my favorites: the aquarium
reorg about 5 years ago [1989]. In the beginning there was only alt.aquaria.
Some sites didn't (and still don't) carry the alt hierarchy and the
group was up to some 40 postings a day, so it was felt that it should
be placed under a more mainstream hierarchy.
 To make a long, bitter story short, 99% of the folks thought
rec.aquaria was a good idea but there was this one guy in particular
who just couldn't abide the thought that his endeavor was a mere
recreational hobby; no, his was a scientific persuit of Truth and only
sci.aquaria would suffice.  When his vote was shot down a jillion to
one against (he never resorted to vote stacking) he still created his
pet group because, after all, anybody can do so.
 Thus, three aquarium groups exist today.  Alt never dried up the way
it was supposed to and carries about half the ~100 aquarium
postings/day, rec carries the other half.  Some people broadcast their
postings to both alt and rec and occasionally even to sci as well but
the amount of original traffic on sci is, oh, 2 postings a week.
[Sexton says:] I dropped off the net 3 years ago after being on for about 4
years and I noticed it was slanted very much in favour of recent events
and a lot of what happened "in my day" has been forgotten already.
 Anyway, I've updated (corrected) a few entries. Use them if you want,
ignore them if you must, do what you will.
 If you have any questions about any of the older ones I have a pretty
good memory about that period.
 I can't believe Peter "duh" Silva is one of the "good" guys. Amazing. Oh well..
[and adds to/updates the above post - after all, he should know:]
 Noticing that there was no newsgroup for tropical fish wackos, Sexton
posted to rec.pets and got 2 responses in 6 months (one of which was "get
those fish out of here") and so proposed a newsgroup for aquaria. The
vote failed by a 10% margin, so Bob Webber (see above) created alt.aquaria.
Some sites didn't (and still don't) carry the alt hierarchy and the group
was up to some 40 postings a day, but was not being propagated to Europe
where the *really good stuff* in aquaria was going on.
 At around this time a vote for sci.military was held by Bill Thacker and
passed, and Sexton concluded that if killing people was a science then so was
keeping tropical fish; besides, sci.aquaria would make it to Europe. He
followed the newsgroup creation guidelines, but they were unfortunately
broken, as the guidelines said a discussion had to be held for two weeks,
and it was, and the popular opinion was a zillion to 6 against. However it
turned out the discussion phase was non-binding, so he went ahead and called
the vote. Sexton had a lot of friends and they forged more yes votes than the
detractors forged no votes. Since all the forgers were members of the
old backbone cabal, the forgeries were rather skillfully done and never
detected [until now, that is...].
 Seen by many as a debacle, and as a testament to the integrity of Gene
Spafford (q.v.) (who took care of these things at the time) the group was
created, although many sites either refused to honor the newgroup or aliased
it to one of the other *.aquaria groups. Since the vote was at the time the
largest in the history of usenet (938 to 727 in favour) the newsgroup
creation rules were changed and the 2/3 majority rule was added, among others.
 This developed into a reputation for initiating newsgroups that
nobody thought were a good idea, but somehow managed to pass a vote
anyway, such as comp.fonts and alt.restaurants (although a vote was not
strictly required in alt, it was almost universally though of as a bad
idea; it was created anyway, and later made into a rec group).
 Sexton created alt.prose, and was disgusted when he found out it was
for poetry, not prostitutes.
 Did not invent, but popularized, the practice of cross-posting to
misc.test, to see if people were awake. They generally weren't.
 Was also responsible, rather indirectly, for all the groups. In
1988, Sexton was showing Ralph Freidenberger how to post to usenet, as
all Ralph knew how to do was follow-up posting. Sexton posted the
message "I propose the newsfroup rec.fucking" to talk.bizarre with
a local distribution. It should have stayed on the machine,
but like so many of Sexton's posts there was a spelling error [I've cleaned
those up here, says the FAQ-person]. Unfortunately the spelling error was in
the "Distribution: local" header line, so the posting was sent out all over
the world. This resulted in two things happening: first, other people thought
rec.fucking would be a really good newsgroup, although the name should
probably be changed to, and second, the word "newsfroup" became part
of the UseNet vernacular for apparently no good reason. The vote for passed, but it was one of those groups (like
comp.protocols.tcp-ip.eniac, which was proposed by Bob Webber as a
"mainstream" talk.bizarre to accomodate Roger Carasso when he got his first
account removed by UCLA) that the backbone refused to carry it. Brian Reid
thus created, and since there already was an alt.drugs, Reid also
created alt.rock-n-roll to complete the triumvirate.
 Sexton also contributed the phrase *plonk* to the UseNet vernacular,
as the sound of a person's name being dropped into his killfile.
 He used to post as until gryphon and its owner
died in 1990. He then surfaced for a while as phoboe@ccicpg.UUCP (Ned Phoboe)
and later was traded by the Los Angeles Cabal in a second round draft
choice, along with Bob Webber of New Jersey, to Canada in exchange
for Brad Templeton of Waterloo, who is now in California, in 1990.
He can be reached these days at (Richard Sexton).

Frank Schaffer:
Contrib. post:
 A local loon is Frank Schaffer. Also known as Promillo. Among his merits
are a .sig displaying an Iron Cross and a firing tank. He posts only to
German newsgroups, such as de.soc.politik, de.soc verkehr (about traffic),
and soc.culture german. His views are that of the reactionary right with
special contempt for anyone who could impose a speed limit on an autobahn.
He is also noted for using the proof by news headlines. Interestingly,
examining the whole message ends up supporting the view of the other side.
Never follows up to debunking, of course.
 His views and the story of his life have an uncanny resemblance to those
of a fictional character, "Diederich Hessling", in a novel by Heinrich Mann.
Posts from .

Rich Holmes (mcmxciibo):
 One of the Inner Circle on; notable for his derivative-Kibo
middle name and for his rapier wit, as well as for being able to stuff into
a 4x80 .sig *all* of the following common Blechy .Sig Fillers Used By The
Clueless (as a response, apparently, to Neil "YoYo" Pawson's saying it couldn't
be done): one badly-drawn ASCII Bart simpson, a sword, a Kibo number, the
Vicki Robinson .sig virus, a badly-drawn ASCII map of Australia (with Perth
helpfully indicated), an ASCII bicyclist, a rose, an Amiga check, a fnord,
a Rush quote, an obscure quote, lots of asterisks, no less than *10* borders,
and what appears to be a WordPerfect reference. Unfortunately, this leaves no
room for Captain Whitespace to visit... uses it pretty much solely on (q.v.) though. Also legendary for being two or three of the
most frequent posters to the Morris Dance mailing list, under various addresses
(which led to a rumor that *everyone* there was him, and a "not Rich Holmes"
.sig virus). Posts as rsholmes@gamera.syr.EDU (Rich 'mcmxciibo' Holmes); look
for it in the headers 'cuz there might be no room for it in the .sig ...

Even Steven on
Contrib. post:
 Even Steven has been posting lengthy arguments to a.s.b to the effect that
all dominance/submission relationships are BAD and WRONG.  He has mangled
Noam Chomsky's concept of "Manufacturing Consent" (which argues that since
Americans get skewed information on world events from the mass media, their
'consent' to the policies of their government is questionable) to mean that
anyone's consent to any act may have been manufactured; specifically, that
submissives consent to enter dom/sub relationships can never be 'genuine'.
Submissives have argued with him at length, saying that they have freely
chosen to live the lives they lead, to no avail.
 Rants on the subject; not *immediately* obvious that something's a bit off,
but observation over time leads one to this conclusion, I'm told. A minifaq
is available. Posts as (Even Steven).

Charles Newman ( is *my* group, *miiiiine*!):
 Infests rec.skate; newgroups badly named alt groups for figure skaters
and cancels people's posts in "his" groups, notably the FAQ on killfiles
posted to rec.skate by . A John Palmer (q.v.) wannabe.
Responsible for the life and death of ...
Also under the impression that a) one *must* be "root" in order to forge
mail or news on a Unix system and b) there is a "delgroup" command that's
applicable to Usenet...
Posts as (Charles Newman) [at present].

Bob Rahe ("Threat to USEnet"):
Contrib. post:
 One person I think deserves a mention in a list of net.loons is Mr. Bob
Rahe. He popped up on over last summer ['93], with a sig
file that read 'Save whales and kill babies? Don't Liberals just kill
you', and every one of his posts went on about how abortion was horrible,
even if the subject had only been mentioned in passing.
 This prompted a memorable post from his sysadmin, with the subject: line
reading 'Bob Rahe - Threat to USEnet'. The sysadmin said that every
subject he posted about in his home network ended up in a flamewar over
abortion. The sysadmin concluded that Bob Rahe had a psychological need
to go on and on about it, and was therefore deserving of protective
status under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Andrew Beckwith (Net.canary to the uranium mine that is UseNet):
 Nominated for talk.bizarre's Mr. Clay Pigeon 1994; a user of erratic
spacing   and, inappropriate  comma's and   apostrophes. Quote:
  For your information, I Andrew Beckwith, live in Pittsburgh, Pa. My  parents
live near Stanford  University, Califorina.
   Nice try. Merey off  by almost 3000 miles. 
    Try again/
                              Andrew Beckwith
 It's a bit difficult to follow his logic at times, but it does seem to usually
be present. Andrew's sysadmin appears to be fully Clued about him (and says
not to be concerned if he threatens to have your net.access revoked...) - and
has had to tell Andrew to please not complain about people *not* sending him
harrassing email... Is *very* amusing if you follow along for a while, as much
for the responses he draws as for his posts. May be seen on alt.flame, 
talk.bizarre, alt.usenet.kooks, etc. A Jpeg is available from :
/pub/martinh (The Official Alt.FLame FTP and JPEG archive site). The
expression "Andrew Beckwith pities you" has come into vogue on certain
newsgroups to mean someone is *really* out of it (enough so to be noticed by
Andrew, you see)... Managed to secure Kook-of-the-Month for May, 1994, awarded
by alt.usenet.kooks (*the* group to lurk in if you're interested in the
inexplicable side of Usenet posting...). Posts as "Andrew W. Beckwith"

Joachim Martillo Ajami (multiple middle names elided):
Contrib. post:
 who, until approximately [1992], polluted most
soc.culture.* groups with diatribes as to (pick the culture)'s primitiveness
and need for recolonization by the enlighted West.
>Does anyone remember Juan Carlo Santos Martillo Ajami? (I may have got
>the name slightly wrong) Is he still around?
 Oh, I _do_ remember Martillo. He occasionally posts to talk.politics.mideast,
but he seems to've (thankfully) ceased infesting the soc.culture newsgroups
he used to turn up at.
> About 3 years ago he
>used to post on various politics groups: usually deliberately
>inflammatory stuff like "Time to Suspend and Dismantle India".  Basic
>view-point seemed to be a very right wing "America can do nothing wrong".
 At one time, Mark Crispin (who seems to've disappeared from the net entirely)
referred to him as a LaRouchie, although I'm not sure how that connects to
Martillo's "the Third World is inhabited by savages and colonialism is good
for them" party line, which is something he seems to repeat just about every
time he posts.
>When I once took him to task for a particularly outrageous
>round of this I got a barely-coherent e-mail accusing me of favouring
>Stalinism and baby-killing.
 You actually got _Email_ from him? Hmmm. He never bothered mailing me after I
flamed him on a few occasions...
>The "Ajami" part of the name appeared _ex_nihilo_ one day after he
>claimed to have had a Moslem great-uncle in Palestine who was murdered
>for collaborating with the Jews (or something like that).  He also showed
>up on soc.religion.islam, but I don't know what his religious views are.
 Presumably orthodox Loonyism. He seems the type. >:)
> Does anyone remember Juan Carlo Santos Martillo Ajami? (I may have got
> the name slightly wrong)
He used lots of variants, starting as Joachim Martillo and later spelling
his first name Yakim or Yehoyaqim as the fancy took him and adding the Ajami.
> Is he still around? [...]  Basic viewpoint seemed to be a very right wing
> "America can do nothing wrong". [...]
Haven't heard from him in a while.  He apparently got an article published
in a prestigious neo-conservative magazine (Commentary?), which says a lot
about their editorial standards...
> I don't know what his religious views are.
He is or was an atheist Sephardic Jew.  He mildly despised religious Jews
and Christians and regarded Muslims as subhuman vermin.

Mark "We must colonize Venus right NOW!" Sobolewski:
Contrib. post:
 from (where I only lurked, never posted) who is said to frequent
groups such as alt.feminism and, spouting non-stop that men have it
a lot worse than women in this society and how women is always trying to
exploit him;
 mark's most charming habit in soc.women and alt.feminism
is his creative definition of the word "feminist."  if
you try to argue with him by pointing out that you are a
feminist and you don't do [whatever thing he's accusing
feminists of this week], he simply claims that you're NOT
a feminist.
 at one point, he claimed that his definition of a feminist
was "a woman who makes more than $20K/year."  inexplicable.
 but i don't think he really qualifies as a net.loon.  he's
more of a net.butthead.
 Maybe I'm reading the wrong newsgroups, but Sobolewski seems to have

Kevin Darcy (Kibbles):
Contrib. post:
 who seem to draw fire from all flamers alike on any group (when I last
dipped into, I saw a lengthy flamewar with him committed firmly
on some side) but actually have a measure of intelligence (at least as of
1991, when I last posted actively in any group except*);
 of course, these days in t.a, Darcy is just a minor irritation
compared to the all-out attempt to see how many variations of the same
one-note song Keegan (q.v.) can devise and post. It's almost enough to make me
wish Ralph Taite would come back...
 Keven Darcey AKA "Kibbles" (ask Ted Frank for details...)
Loon 2nd Class, with dog food cluster.
 Seen most recently on alt.config arguing *passionately* against the creation
of a moderated alt.dads-rights (apparently feeling that *he'd* not be allowed
to post there, so it was Blatantly Unfair).
Posts from (Kevin Darcy).

James Keegan:
Contrib. post:
 who must qualify as a BOT of some sort, flaming away at anything at a drop
of a hat and not necessarily at any particular doctrine or ideology-- when
I made the last-mentioned dip into a killfile for crossposts
nailed about 500 posts out of 1,000 with him in a flamefest of some
kind involving people who looks like pro-choicers from talk.abortion
(i.e. people who he was _nominally_ on the same side with).
 hey!  be nice to keegan!  when i told him i had the flu,
he fedexed me a box of chocolates!
 He's back, and is at number 6 on the #-of-articles lists... looks like he's
frequenting talk.abortion, alt.feminism,, soc.women, and
alt.abortion.inequity (and fails the 50% test, by the way: his percentages
in the news.lists postings add up to > 50%, indicating massive concentration
on only a few newsgroups), as well as alt.usenet.kooks . *Not* entertaining
to watch, as his followups tend to be endless repetitions on one basic
theme, to be one-liners, and to have "creative editing" of the followed-up
text. Has his own frequently-Tim-Pierce-rmgrouped* newsgroup. Posts as
keegan@helios.ACM.RPI.EDU (James G. Keegan Jr.) or
(james g keegan jr).

Jim Bowery ("Are YOU of Jewish heritage?"): 
 Seen in all the usual anti-semitic-suspect groups: alt.activism,
alt.conspiracy, alt.revisionism (plus talk.politics.guns for some reason). Can
be easily baited by Ted Frank. Promotes the "idea of genetic separatism":
that fine upright Nordic genes are in danger of being degraded by secular
Jewish genes and therefore the possessors of the former need to keep themselves
away from the possessors of the latter, as near as I can make out. Talk of him
once proposing a colony on Mars, free of secular Jewish influences, has been
flying on alt.usenet.kooks; apparently also once claimed Rush Limbaugh was part
of the Jewish media conspiracy. A sample random quote, the first one I ran
across on alt.revisionism while puttering through the newsgroups:
> When will our people wise up and learn from history???
 When we cease being educated and morally manipulated via media and academia by 
 When will that happen?  When we form a society from which Jews are excluded
with extreme prejudice.
 The question the becomes, how does one avoid the definition of "extreme
prejudice" as it is used in intelligence circles:  murder.
 Our main mistakes in this New World were that we didn't include, in our 
constitution, a genetic definition of citizenship and a prohabition against
imported labor (ie: slaves and migrant workers).  I would even go so far
as to put a prohabition against tourists of any kind because the key to 
maintanence of the northern genetic constitution is avoidance of social
contact with those of southern genetic constition just as their key to
survival is avoidance of military or violent confrontation with those of 
northern genetic constitution.
Posts as (Jim Bowery).

Rich Rosen:
Contrib. post:
 I just realized the list is also missing Rich Rosen, one of the earliest
net.legends, who back around 1986 produced so many voluminous postings
that there were rumors of rooms of people writing for him.
 Can someone write up something on Rich Rosen, immortalized in the
expire man page of bnews?
 BTW, does anyone know how he got there?  I recall once suggesting
using expire to delete all his articles (and getting flamed by him for
this), and many years (and a few releases) later I noticed that he was
*in* the expire man page.  Was he always there?
How can a Net.Legends list omit Rich Rosen?  I think he still holds the
record for amount of spontaneous, germane text in a single newsgroup

Doctress ("Lovolution") Neutopia:
 Posts on The Gaia Religion and Neutopian Thought... has a scheme for planetary
salvation involving arcologies, feminist lovolution, worship of Gaia. Can
be seen in alt.censorship, among other places.
Contrib. post:
lbsisk on BIX ( wrote:
: I was not being critical of your intelligence, though your thought
: processes seem irrational, but of your belief system.
To form a new religion is a new belief system which is what I have
done in my dissertation.
: I do have a question or two, though.  What is the university which
: is purportedly going to award you a doctorate, and in which field
: of study is the doctorate being awarded?  If you wouldn't mind
: posting the name of the primary person who supervised your work,
: I would like to contact him or her to ask a couple of other questions.
: Feel free to respond by email if you prefer.
The doctorate I have been awarded is from the School of Education
in future studies.  The dissertation is a work of prophecy.
I am dealing with the occult powers.  Normally, traditional institions
do not give revolutionary thinkers degrees for their occult knowledge,
but I am a rare individual.
{disclaimer: the following statements are, actually, true}
 I have actually met this woman !
 She provided quite a bit of entertainment at a meeting of our Graduate
Student Senate last semester. Specifically, she debated with the UMass
Chancellor, David Scott, about how his vision for the university's next
20 years was flawed because it didn't involve EcoCities or the Information
Lovolution. They were both mostly spouting hot air, which is why it was
so much fun. (Also, he did a good job of appearing to take her seriously.)
 The Future Studies Dept. apparently was cut several years ago
(that's why her doctorate is actually an Ed.D.).
My first thought was, of course:
"This just goes to show that there's no future in future studies."
Her thesis can be found by ftp at, /pub/leri/Neutopia;
those with Mosaic/WWW/Lynx access may check out
May soon have her own newsgroup, alt.society.neutopia, to talk about the
coming lovolution on. Posts as (Doctress Neutopia).

Carl J Lydick:
 Frequent poster to sci.skeptic, sci.astro,, and; has a memorable .sig, which is about VAXen, and about
three lines too long. Is notable for a) a sometimes abrasive posting style -
he does *not* suffer fools gladly, and will mercilessly flame Velikovskianites
in particular into little manna-bearing ashes, and b) being nearly always right
when he *does* correct someone. Watching him for a while can be fun. Currently
taking on Ted Holden (q.v.) in ... Posts as
carl@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Carl J Lydick).

Jai ("The Voice Of Mantra Corporation") Maharaj:
 Apparently posts a lot to alt.astrology,, soc.culture.indian,
and; is a Vedic astrology follower and vegetarian. Will
accuse people of "LIBEL", or of sending (non-existent) mailbombs. Posts little
VEDA extracts. Has an newsgroup. Is currently involving
alt.culture.hawaii in his crossposts for some reason. A miniFAQ is available.
Posts as cy717@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jai Maharaj) (email:

 Apparently a fixture on alt.atheism; stands out enough from the crowd there
to be noticeable, which takes a bit of doing. May be partly responsible for
some of's reputation...
Contrib. post:
 This person has long ago passed the net.loon point and
is cruising easily through his own little net.psychosis.
This person posts under the name Publius from <>.
 Are there specific criteria a net.moron must meet to enter the halls of
the famous?  I, or indeed anyone over on alt.atheism, will be happy to tell
you about Publius (except maybe Publius himself).  For the record, I think
he long ago passed the Mozumder mark, and Mozumder is in the FAQ...  In
fact, ridicule of Publius became so great at one point that it primarily
brought about the creation of alt.atheism.satire, which has played host to
two stories about Publius.
Posts as (Publius).

David DeLaney ("I'm *not* everywhere, I'm *not*!"):
 A relative newbie (10/93); notable mainly for his posting volume and his
nearly-unbreakable habit of using the a.f.u ever-changing middle name. Tended
to post in quantities greater than Serdar Argic (q.v.) did, but only by
posting mainly to a vast quantity of mostly-unrelated groups; at one point
out-argued Dick Depew. Had a dense, turgid, and somewhat scatterbrained
writing style. Responsible for at least one version of the Net.Legends FAQ;
opinions on this FAQ vary, all the way from "hysterically funny..." to "A
pack of *lies*!!". Could be seen on any of several groups, including a.f.u,
rec.arts.sf.written, news.newusers.questions, soc.motss, and
alt.religion.kibology, as well as (once in a while) any of a great number
of smaller-volume groups. Claims *not* to have read all of the net, as this is
clearly impossible nowadays; known to have followed at least six or seven
high-volume groups closely, without killfiles.
 Unfortunately, the twin forces of ever-exponentially-increasing newsgroup
volume and impending joblessness forced his withdrawal from the net in August
'94. May be back someday, but probably more "someday" than "soon"...
 Posted as dbd@{martha|panacea|enigma|utkux1} or (David [B.] DeLaney).

Honorable Mention:
 Ronald van Loon, maintainer of Motif++; quote: "I hate to jump in like this,
but it makes one wonder. What do people have against Loons ? I have been a
Loon almost all my life and I am as sane as a dodo's navel on ice." Included
for obvious reasons... Posts as (Ronald van Loon). 

5.0  ----------------------------------------------
Also Nominated, but with little or no information:

John DiNardo: (whose voluminous multipart postings inspired a subject line
 "Part 1: Is the CIA putting acid in John Dinardo's Coffee?")

Stephen Chaney:
Contrib. post:
 Second-handly, I got the report
also from talk.abortion (after I stopped posting there) of one
Stephen Chaney, who seem to consider himself an airplane of some sort
and runs around making "whoosh" sounds (I am not sure of the details
but he is reputedly sticking to nowadays).
 He's not even there very much, now.  He retreated from there to spending his
time on IRC, and apparently is marrying (or has married, already) a student at
E. New Mexico U. he met on IRC.

David J. Rasmussen (thanks for not killing me, mommy!):
Contrib. post:
 Actually, if ever there was a certified net.loon in
talk.abortion, I'm surprised you missed the obvious choice:  David J. "thanks
for not killing me, mommy!" Rasmussen.  I'd vote for him, but then I may be
biased by the fact that he actually traveled all the way to Houston from
Raleigh to confront me -- and he couldn't figure out that I was normally home
asleep at the hour he showed up at the RUPD offices demanding they arrest me.
 (It made my day to be awakened by a late-afternoon phone call from an RUPD
officer asking if I knew anyone by DJR's name, and when I answered that I did,
being informed that he was on campus looking for me.  1992 May 27 -- a date to
remember, for sure.)

Dave Nalle:
 And there is always Dave Nalle, on the r.g.frp.* groups, who
KNOWS the True Way of Gaming.
Contrib. post:
 Ah, yes.  Nalle created and is marketting his own frp system. He is...
rather intolerant of criticism on his system, but I've never looked at
the system. In a fascinating tautology, I refuse to look at his system
because of the way he deals with posts which criticize it. A great
reminder to those who think PR is unimportant.

Han de Bruijn:
Contrib. post:
 Used to post to sci.math and cause a lot of heated discussions with his
"A little bit of physics would be NO idleness in mathematics" threads.
He apparently was told to stop posting by his employer, and began writing
a 'Series of Unified Numerical Analysis' (SUNA) - I didn't read them, so they
might not be loon articles, though. Unfortunately, I couldn't find his own
ftp archive, which should be in the Netherlands, and his postings of suna are
nowadays very rare.

Mr. Lionel Tun:
 of and ForTun Cookie Quotes; also of uk.misc .
Posts as (apparently) (Lionel Tun), if this isn't a
different Lionel Tun entirely.

Kalki Dasa:
 also of

Jeff X. Mink (I am a false prophet): ?

Geoff Miller:
Contrib. email:
> *Who* ees dees Geoff Miller person? Data, I need more data, Captain!
 Seriously???  I saw an alt.peeves FAQ on alt.humor.b-o-u that called him
the mayor of alt.peeves... uncontested, which says something.  I first
ran across him when message #1 on was GM
SCREAMING that we should nuke Mecca during holy week, as retaliation.
He's supposed to have invented 'squicking'-- fucking a hole you cut in
the skull of your victim.  Let me see if I can find a sample of his art...

Kenneth Arndt:
apparently from talk.abortion.
Contrib. post:
 And I should point out that a couple of nights ago ABC's Nightline ran
a report on the "deadly force" branch of the anti-abortion movement.
At one point they showed a list of people who had signed a declaration
that any force necessary, including homicide, is justified against
abortionists.  Among the signatures was one Kenneth Arndt.  Remember him?
 The most magnificent piece of his writing I have ever read was posted
to net.motss (I _think_ it was pre-Great-Renaming), and titled "The
Monkey and the Beachball".  I would be VERY grateful to see that again, or
to know how to contact Mr. Arndt in hopes that he can provide it.
Splendid, simply, horrifically splendid....

Well Jesus Monroy Jr will always have a place in the global killfile
[surely "heart"?] of many readers of the comp hierarchy (especially

When I used to read uk.* (I actually live in the UK, don't be misled by the
hostname), Ken Johnson stuck out in my mind for being a pretty froody dude;
he even had an* group created in his honour, but then he seemed to
disappear... must have got a better job, or something.
I don't suppose regional groups qualify for the list though.
Posts to talk.bizarre ...

Davorin Dujomvic (sp?)

Jonathon E.D. Richmond (How many jews does it take to shut down a newsgroup): ?

 from sci.skeptic. Posts as; the "_-_" appears
to be a artifact...

George Carter:
Contrib. post:
 On that note, I would like to nominate George Carter. He has been
ranting, raving, and carry-on consistantly for quite some time now.
He has earn his own spot in the comp.sys.hp.* FAQ and probably has
more kill files with his name in it than any.

Herman Rubin (Modern programming languages aren't what I need): ?
Contrib. post:
 Rubin has strong feelings about all kinds of things--Bayesian probability,
the proper role of a statistical consultant, space exploration, medicine.

Tony Hollick ("Photon energies are quantised" & "My Doctor told me the KGB
 killed my parents"):
Posts as; a UK phenomenon.

 Maybe it reflects bad early reading habits, but the first newsgroups I was
aware of devoted to net personalities were not the Kibo groups.  They were
alt.rissa and alt.weemba.  You could include Rissa and Weemba, or was
their prominence not sufficient for your list?


6.0  ______________________________________________________________________
Things We Could Have Called This But Didn't:
Net.Loons FAQ
Net Butterflies
Net.Prophets.and.Losses (The (Un)Balance(d) Sheet)
From the Depths of the Net
Jane's Guide to Birdwatching on the Net
At Large in the Net
If You Thought AFU Was Weird...
Pick of the Litter
Catch of the Day(s)
Caught in the Net
Sounds Fishy To Me
While Trolling Thru the Net One Day
net.weight (Contents May Have Settled During Shipping)
UseNUTS (Dan "Which makes the rest of us UseBOLTS" Case)
net.singularities ("Isn't that where Kibo is dividing Spot by zero?" "WAAAAAH!")
Netorious / Net.Notorious
Spot the Net.Loony
Canadian Coins Explained
Cranks and their Cases
High Weirdness By Email (it was already taken, unfortunately)

7.0  ________________________________
Credits: This FAQ would not have been possible without several people: Bill
vanHorne, the original "volunteer" to write it; the person who said "we should
write a FAQ about this" when the question came up for the nth time "who *was*
McElwaine, anyway, and why are you all still talking about him?"; the good
people on alt.folklore.urban and alt.folklore.computers, and elsewhere, who
contributed to the Call for Loons thread (many of whose posts are quoted here,
with credit given below); Dave DeLaney, FAQ-gatherer, who in a moment of
insanity volunteered to help Bill; people all over UseNet who critiqued
individual bits when presented; Daniel J. Karnes, who did more than *anyone*
else to popularize the FAQ; and of course, the Net.Legends themselves, without
whom none of this would have been possible (or necessary). Contributing were
(whether they know it or not): Kibo, Ted Frank, Peter Trei, Larry Wall, Jeremy
Reimer, Lewis Stiller, Joel Furr, Andrew Bulhak, Sean P. Ryan, Jack Sarfatti,
Dmitri Vulis; james dolan, Sea Wasp (Ryk E Spoor), Don Porges, Dan Case, Lee
Rudolph, Bill Sinkins, Stephen Watson, Scott H. Mullins, Paul Tomblin, RICHARD
JOHN AKIS, Bob Tinsley, Thomas C. Allard, Sean Malloy, Dik T. Winter, David
Lesher, John Gilmore, Eddie Saxe, Mike Godwin, Charlie Gibbs, Mark Eckenwiler,
Peter Lindsey, Scott Forbes, Marcelo Magnasco, Pat Hayes, Mike Swaim, Jonathan
Papai, Jason R. Heimbaugh, Mark Brader, 5150 (Ron Echeverri), Rob Jellinghaus,
Arne Adolfsen, Ariel Faigon, Matthew B. Landry, Chris Lewis, Jim Wise, Perry
Metzger, Chandra L. Morgan-Henley, Henry Robertson, The_Doge, Mark McCullough,
Iain Sinclair, Peter D. Hampe, David_Moursund, Mary Shafer, Bernd Meyer, Jason
Durbin, Robbie Westmoreland, Bill Duetschler, Jamie R. McCarthy, Barry Shein,
Steven Miale, Tom Lane, Steve Hayman, thomas a lloyd, Christopher Neufeld,
Snakes of Medusa (mathew), Thomas Jelonek, Bill Bogstad, Curt Hagenlocher,
Richard Trott, Jim Jewett, John Ockerbloom, Raphael Carter, Chris Krolczyk,
Edward C. Bennett, Richard Caley, Paul O'Brien, Jim Davis, Brendan Hassett,
Bill Irion, Timo Salmi, Joseph M. Saul, Scott Drellishak, Faisal Nameer Jawdat,
john baez, Greg Hudson, Mike Mcnally, Ken Shirriff, Alan Jaffray, Greg Galcik,
yangboy (B.Y.), Trygve Lode, Eric Jaron Stieglitz, Bill Nelson, Joel B. Levin,
Patrick L. Humphrey, Brad Allen, Robin Chauhan, Ketil M. Malde, Ben Jackson,
Nick Szabo, Theo Mora, Matt Brown, Mitchell Porter, Brad `Squid' Shapcott,
David Boothroyd, Guy Harris, eric schwartz, moxie, Thom Grace, Bob Ingria,
Kelly Bert Manning, Patricia O Tuama, Gregory G. "Wolfe" Woodbury, Jack Campin,
Jorn Barger, FJ!! van Wingerde, Lloyd Wood, Steven Case (?), Dave Fischer, John
William Chambless, David Casseres, Gary L. Dare, Bruce Ediger, Gary Lewandowski,
Ted Faber, Keith Rogers, Lewis McCarthy, Keith Lim, Alec Habig, G. L.
Sicherman, Eli Brandt, Toby Koosman, Claudio Calvelli, Thomas Koenig, David
Goldfarb, Charles D. Roten, Alexandre Pechtchanski, Mark Meyer, Stacy Prowell,
Matt McIrvin,, and Warren Burstein of the four-legged shin,
who claims the "It's always September" quote. If you're on this list, you
contributed or posted *something*; good luck in finding it...  if you'd rather
your *particular* here-included email contribution not appear here, even
anonymously, contact me (emailed legal threats excluded; I'm counting posts
as "fair game")...

Corrections, updates, new sightings of little-known legends, new nominations,
etc., may be posted to alt.usenet.kooks; crossposting to one of
alt.folklore.urban, alt.religion.kibology, or alt.folklore.computers would
be nice. Also note that, where dbd usually posts from, is
officially Not Involved in this, and enigma contains only *pointers* to the
info; if you wanna complain to someone, see below.

Compilation copyright (only) (David DeLaney); this
does not claim that individual contributors' copyrights have been transferred,
only that the compilation and original portions thereof are copyright. Please
feel free to distribute freely, charging no-one.