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Frequently Asked Questions
version: 1.4
last modified: February 2, 1997 (happy Groundhog Day)
first posted: December 4, 1994
anti-moderator and king: Libor <libor@uiuc.edu>
FAQ maintainer: Alan Braverman <alanb@uiuc.edu>
This article contains the answers to Frequently Asked Questions for the
newsgroup uiuc.test. This article will be posted to uiuc.test at no
regular interval. Feel free to email your questions to pez@uiuc.edu.
Contents
1 TEST
1.1 What is uiuc.test?
1.2 What is the purpose of TEST?
1.3 What is the history of uiuc.test?
1.4 Are any uiuc.test readers actually members of TEST?
1.5 What is the difference between uiuc.test and cso.test?
1.6 Does hostility exist today between uiuc.test and cso.test?
1.7 When is Uiuc.Test Database Rebuilding Day?
1.8 What happened to cso.test, I can't find it?
1.9 Why do my uiuc.test posts disappear the day after I post them?
1.10 Is uiuc.test archived?
1.11 I'm not at UIUC, can I participate too?
* 1.12 Why don't my uiuc.test posts disappear the day after I post them?
* 1.13 What happened to the uiuc.test home page?
* 1.14 What happened to the email-to-news gateway?
* 1.15 What happened to Supat?
2 Potatoes
2.1 How many french fries can you make from a 10 ounce potato?
2.2 What is the status of the Super Potato Cognitive Matrix?
2.3 What is the latest on SPUD?
2.4 What is the latest on ETI?
2.5 What is a tuber?
3 Libor and Miscellany
3.1 Who is Libor?
3.2 I heard Libor is just an imaginary person. Is that true?
3.3 I want to quote Libor in my .signature file. Any suggestions?
3.4 Who is Alan Braverman?
3.5 Who is Milt Epstein?
3.6 Does this FAQ shamelessly plug any commercial WWW offerings?
3.7 I can't think of a name for my band, any suggestions?
* 3.8 What is Braverman's Third Lemma?
* 3.9 What is Libor's Corollary?
* 3.10 How can I judge others based on their choice of mail client?
TEST
----------------------------------------
1.1 What is uiuc.test?
The uiuc.test newsgroup was originally created for the local
Champaign/Urbana TEST (Tasmanians for the Exchange of Subversive Thoughts)
guild. This newsgroup serves as a forum for the free exchange of ideas.
NOTE ON MISUSE: The uiuc.test newsgroup is often mistaken for a public
message-testing newsgroup or a discussion forum for CS 225 exams. Please
post gripes about exams to uiuc.class.cs225, and use any of the following
groups as your electronic scratch paper, rather than uiuc.test:
comp.sys.intel, uiuc.cs.csil.problems, uiuc.sys.amiga, uiuc.org.pro-life
1.2 What is the purpose of TEST?
TEST's purpose, when formed in 1783 by a group of Maryland anarchist
Tasmanian immigrants, was to create a forum for the discussion of radical
thoughts and beliefs about politics and society, with the explicit goal to
not hinder beliefs based on societal norms.
1.3 What is the history of uiuc.test?
The uiuc.test newsgroup was created in 1986 by members of the local
Champaign/Urbana TEST guild. After the four founding members of the local
guild graduated (with degrees in philosophy and/or computer science) the
newsgroup remained inactive, except for the occasional test post (see 1.1).
In 1991, Tasmanian exchange student, Ned Churchland, revived the discussion
forum by posting a series of traditional TEST lemmas with a materialist
angle. Discussion flourished when inspired undergrads, Alan Braverman and
Libor, embraced Ned's ideas, even after Ned was deported for treason.
Today, many test posts continue to flood the TEST forum, however, TEST's
own doctrine of open, radical discussion forces TEST to accept the test
posts as valid questions and concerns.
1.4 Are any uiuc.test readers actually members of TEST?
Currently, none of the personalities who frequent uiuc.test are TEST
members, but a handful of the most prominent uiuc.test contributors adopt
TEST's acceptance and exchange of boundless ideas. If anyone out there is
Tasmanian, please email pez@uiuc.edu.
1.5 What is the difference between uiuc.test and cso.test?
The cso.test newsgroup was created as a mockery of uiuc.test, after a CSO
employee innocently posted a test message to uiuc.test, which was converted
by the founding foursome into a proof that the poster did not exist on this
plane. Even after a formal apology and a counter proof of the CSO
employee's existence, the cso.test newsgroup remained, but mostly as a
testing forum for disgruntled nn users (see 1.8).
1.6 Does hostility exist today between uiuc.test and cso.test?
Unfortunately, many of uiuc.test's most popular personalities have publicly
acknowledged their firm belief in the original proof, writing off the
counter proof as purely political, keeping hostilities alive. In fact, as
recently as September, 1994, CSO Manager Declan Fleming attempted to run
over uiuc.test moderator and pedestrian, Libor, driving south at Sixth and
Healy in Champaign, Illinois. Witnesses report Declan was waving a fist
out the window of his sedan and screaming, "We'll see who doesn't exist!"
1.7 When is uiuc.test Database Rebuilding Day?
In honor of David Lemson, uiuc.test Database Rebuilding Day is celebrated
annually on January 23. On that date in 1995, Alexander Feygin proclaimed:
> All hail Lemson for doing battle with The Man, and triumphantly
> rebuilding the database. Let Jan 23rd be forever celebrated as
> the Uiuc.Test Database Rebuilding Day.
and it was so.
1.8 What happened to cso.test, I can't find it?
On July 12, 1995, a disgruntled Paul Pomes posted to uiuc.announce:
> Despite claims to the contrary, uiuc.test is not the private
> playground of some excessively idle University employees and
> students. It exists for University-wide testing of the news
> software (user agent and transport). Anyone within the University
> can post test messages there or not at their choice. Since only
> one local test newsgroup is really needed, I'll be removing
> cso.test and aliasing it to uiuc.test.
Note that section 1.3 clearly explains that test messages are welcome in
our forum, as long as they are somewhat entertaining, and probably should
not contain the word "test."
1.9 Why do my uiuc.test posts disappear the day after I post them?
This is also Paul Pomes' doing. Our anti-moderator and king is working to
alleviate this problem. (see 1.12)
1.10 Is uiuc.test archived?
Why, yes it is! See the uiuc.test home page at:
http://turtle.ncsa.uiuc.edu/alan/uiuc.test/
(see 1.13)
1.11 I'm not at UIUC, can I participate too?
Yes you can! Use the WWW archive to read uiuc.test and the email-to-news
gateway to post, by emailing your post to: test@anarchy.ncsa.uiuc.edu
(see 1.14)
1.12 Why don't my uiuc.test posts disappear the day after I post them?
On June 19, 1996, Reece Joyner alleviated the article expiration problem on
uiuc.test and posted:
> From: rjoyner@network23.cso.uiuc.edu (Reece Joyner)
> Newsgroups: uiuc.test
> Subject: just for Mr. Braverman :-)
> Date: 19 Jun 1996 23:03:41 -0500
>
> Doctor, Mr. Spock knows his place under regulations....
> Do you?!
1.13 What happened to the uiuc.test home page?
It's dead. For now, the closest thing is:
http://hagbard.ncsa.uiuc.edu/uiuctest/
1.14 What happened to the email-to-news gateway?
It moved from anarchy.ncsa.uiuc.edu to another machine, but I forgot which
one.
1.15 What happened to Supat?
I dunno.
Potatoes
----------------------------------------
2.1 How many french fries can you make from a 10 ounce potato?
CNN Headline News cited World Watch Magazine as the source for this
factoid: About 90 french fries can be made from one 10-ounce potato.
2.2 What is the status of the Super Potato Cognitive Matrix?
As of this printing, the research effort has split into two factions. At
the University of Illinois at Urbana/Champaign (UIUC) remains the original
Super Potato Urbana Development (SPUD) Team. The other sect, the Effort
for Tuber Intelligence (ETI), has relocated in San Diego, where it is warm.
The original SPUD team is still riding on the 1977 Idaho Grant, which
expires in 1997. The funding source for ETI is still unknown, but is
believed to be linked to the ousted government of Tasmania.
2.3 What is the latest on SPUD?
SPUD is currently working on a quarter-size mock-up matrix of intelligent
potatoes, in an attempt to connect a living human brain directly into the
matrix. SPUD hopes to allow a human to exchange thoughts and ideas with
the matrix. Specific facts about the potato matrix topology and human
interconnect are currently undisclosed, and the private intellectual
property of the SPUD team and the University of Illinois.
2.4 What is the latest on ETI?
ETI hopes to exploit the potato's ability to travel by configuring its own
space/time coordinates at will. ETI plans to be able to give a potato a
set of coordinates and have it relocate itself by early 1998. Even less
technical detail is known about the ETI project.
2.5 What is a tuber?
Botany: An underground structure consisting of a solid thickened portion or
outgrowth of a stem or rhizome, of a more or less rounded form, and bearing
"eyes" or buds from which new plants may arise; a familiar example is the
potato.
Libor and Miscellany
----------------------------------------
3.1 Who is Libor?
In May, 1995, Libor was the first being not born on Earth to graduate from
the Engineering College at UIUC, with a BS in CS. He currently works for
the NSA in an underground bunker below the Foreign Language Building.
3.2 I heard Libor is just an imaginary person. Is that true?
Reports that Libor is a product of a U.S. Government conspiracy (as posted
to uiuc.general) are completely false, contrary to the remarks of one Chris
Trimble. Mr. Trimble publicly admitted his mistake in a statement, saying,
"Sorry about that, Libor."
3.3 I want to quote Libor in my .signature file. Any suggestions?
Try one of these crowd-pleasers:
"I'm a big fan of the potato. I'm all for it. Libor
says 'thumbs up' to potatoes." -- Libor
"Everything else tastes like mashed potatoes." -- Libor
"I'm a big fan of the asparagus." -- Libor
3.4 Who is Alan Braverman?
Alan Braverman was another undergrad at UIUC until his Engineering 100
class toured SPUD's lab in Fall 1991. After an accident involving the
Super Potato Cognitive Matrix, Alan was befriended by project member,
Libor. Biologists at UIUC are still developing a method to remove potato
particles from his sinus cavities.
3.5 Who is Milt Epstein?
Milt Epstein is a Graduate Teaching Assistant for the Computer Science
Department at UIUC. Mr. Epstein has been known to post conversations with
himself on uiuc.test, and achieved his fifteen minutes of fame in the Unix
Hater's Handbook.
3.6 Does this FAQ shamelessly plug any commercial WWW offerings?
Yes it does! Check out Melvin, the WWW incarnation of The Onion, at:
http://www.melvin.com/ (see www.theonion.com)
3.7 I can't think of a name for my band, any suggestions?
UIUC Usenet personality Charley Kline wrote a Perl script to generate way
kewl random band names, which was CGI-ified by NCSA's own Tom Magliery.
Samples include "Steel Meat Basket," "Flying Clam Pod," and "Burnt Monkey
Boner." Here's the URL:
http://sdg.ncsa.uiuc.edu/~mag/cgi-bin/band/band.pl.cgi
3.8 What is Braverman's Third Lemma?
Given:
p = you are nasty
q = my first name is Janet
r = my first name is Baby
s = my name is Miss Jackson
Braverman's third lemma states:
(!r -> q) & (p -> s)
Jason Lindquist notes:
> However, the truth of this hypothetical proposition is dependent upon
> whether or not her first name is "Baby". You do not assert whether
> or not this is true. Her first name is Janet IF her first name is
> not Baby.
3.9 What is Libor's Corollary?
Libor's Corollary:
!r & (!p -> q) & (p -> s)
3.10 How can I judge others based on their choice of mail client?
Mike Gebis provides this handy chart:
> To tell the truth, that's what's really important in your newsreader
> or mailreader: The respect you'll get from other users. Here's a
> handy little chart:
>
> mail: user is a newbie/user is Libor
> eudora: user is a Mac weenie
> mh: user is some sort of sysadmin
> xmh: user is some sort of sysadmin with x
> exmh: user is some sort of sysadmin with x and likes gadgets
> elm: user is a seasoned unix veteran
> pine: user is either a newbie OR a seasoned unix veteran
> nn: user perversely reads mail with a newsreader
> less: user is anti-interface
> sendmail: user is a do-it-yourselfer
> Emacs: user is an Emacs addict
> ftp: the mailreader of choice on ux4
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uiuc.test Frequently Asked Questions
pez@uiuc.edu